It's the Love Month

You can feel it in the air, like the smell of Chanel No. 5 and Estee Lauder’s Beautiful. You can sense it in the atmosphere, like the giddiness of Christmas and the excitement that a new year brings. You can see it everywhere, from little cardboard hearts to bouquets of every-colored roses. Oooohlala, it’s the official start of amore ----yes, Valentine’s Day.

If you are amongst the crowd of non-celebratory folks, you’ll see this month as nothing but ordinary. If you have a boyfriend or a fiancée or a long-time lover, you’ll definitely feel kilig and somewhat “lovesick”. When you’re married, it’s a different story.

Let me divide the married couples into three categories when February arrives. There’s the “newly” married couples who seems to still be in their honeymoon phase. In my calculation (and observation, mind you), these couples are usually in the first stages of their marriage. It can be that they’ve been married recently or if their lucky, they are still very much in love. Don’t get me wrong; I’m not saying people who are already married falls out of love ---- some do but mostly just settled in a very “comfortable” state. In this category, the length of time that the couple has been married varies from one year to, if they’re really lucky, ten years. Hollywood usually sets the bar at ten (look at Jen & Brad, Heidi & Seal, Mark Anthony & J. Lo) so I’m setting it at ten years. These couples might usually look at the love month as the perfect opportunity to celebrate their love for each other. They’d go on vacations, reserve at the finest restaurants and sometimes, if the husband is feeling a bit generous, they’d concoct a surprise that might rival their proposals. In other words, the couples who fit under this category are still “lovesick”.

The next category is what I like to call as the “settled” couple. If you passed the ten-year mark then congratulations, you are part of this category. I’m not saying that these couples are no longer in love; they’ve just found a pacing in their marriage where they’ve seen the best and definitely the worst of each other. They may have kids (who might be in college) and has already weathered the test of time. They might celebrate February 14 if they happen to remember it or just out of habit. Sometimes, the wife would do all the planning or sometimes, both of them would just invite each other to dinner while they’re in the middle of left over night and their kids asked them how they will celebrate Valentine’s Day. If you ask me, I never want to become part of this category. Why? Well, because I find it hard to picture myself and Dydy being married for the sake of just being married or God forbid, for the sake of the children. It’s never fun to stay anywhere when you feel you are really not as welcomed or wanted as before.

Then there’s the “old” couple. You might hear them often fight and you might feel that they are often at each others throat but alas, I envy the couples in this category. When my marriage to Dydy stands the test of time, say be married for twenty-five years, I want to skip the “settled” stage and go straight to this category. I find the couples in this category truly and very in love. I know you’re wondering why. Let me explain.

Whenever you hear the term “old couple”, what comes in your minds? You’d definitely picture a man and a woman with graying hair, holding hands in the park or sometimes, sharing a cup of coffee in the quiet area of a coffee shop. They’d often finish each others sentences, to the annoyance of one another and would often be heard, especially the old lady, scolding each other and saying “Sinabi ko naman kasi sa iyo…” I like these kinds of couples because they’re the epitome of what love really should be ----- unconditional, honest and faithful. It’s the irony of their current situation mash well with what true love really is.

If you’re an avid reader of my blog, you’d remember me using this passage during our wedding:

If I speak with human tongues and angelic as well, but do not have love, I am a noisy gong, a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and, with full knowledge, comprehend all mysteries, if I have faith great enough to move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give everything I have to feed the poor and hand over my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient; love is kind. Love is not jealous, it does not put on airs, it is not snobbish. Love is never rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not prone to anger; neither does it brood over injuries. Love does not rejoice in what is wrong but rejoices with the truth. There is no limit to love’s forbearance, to its trust, its hope, its power to endure.
Love never fails. Prophecies will cease, tongues will be silent, knowledge will pass away. Our knowledge is imperfect and our prophesying is imperfect. When the perfect comes, the imperfect will pass away. - 1 Cor. 13:1-10

I used this passage as part of our wedding liturgy because it definitely explained what real love should be. And I see this passage in the old couples that’s why I want to join their wagon as soon as we can. These couples might not celebrate Valentine’s Day lavishly but in the simplicity of greeting each other “Happy Valentine’s Day, my darling” and the fact that they’ve stayed married and continuously loving each other as if they’re still engaged (Hey, I can attest to that. Being engaged never meant seeing everything with rose-colored glasses. Sometimes, this stage will literally test your solidity as a couple, what with all the preparation, the stress and not to mention, the budget that you have to deal with? Alas, the engagement is like the trial marriage phase).

Always & Forever. 3-12-11

I’m not sure what Dydy and I will do this coming February 14^th but I’m sure, whatever it is, it’ll be lovely. I know it will be different as compared to what we usually do (i.e. eating out, flowers, gifts, etc.) but I’d bet it’ll be special because this year we’re celebrating a lot of firsts.

Enjoy your Valentine’s Day netizens! Remember, it’s not about the money nor the gifts nor whatever material things you can think of but the love that you feel for each other.

Zeke, when you grow up and find someone to call your love, be sincere and faithful. Love her as you passionately and as endearing as you can, like how your father loves me. But whoops, before you get any idea, you should be in the right age first! I’ll make you tuktok on the head if you make landi at an early age! I’m serious Pots.