I'll be going back to work tomorrow. And like most working moms, I have several questions that bother me up to the point that it would make me feel guilty about leaving my son at home. It's not a nice feeling when you think about it but nowadays, it's only practical to have two working parents in a household in case something happens to one of them. It's a security that my husband and I can't afford to lose.
Honestly, when I was still single, my career has been my priority. I have always made myself be on my toes for a chance to climb the corporate ladder. Everything's going well for my career --- I'm an OIC being groomed to be the next leader. Then it happened; I got pregnant.
Pregnancy changed my views about my career. Once I heard my son's first cry, I knew that he'll be on top of my priorities and it will never be changed. At first I tried to convince my husband to let me stay at home. Instead of instantly agreeing, he gave me the pros and cons to make sure that I'm making the right decision. The cons of being a stay-at-home mom outweighed the pros. And besides, I'll be home before 4PM so I would still have time to play with Zeke and yes, breastfeed him. Also, my husband's mother will be the one to take care of my son so there's no need to worry about him being taken care of by a complete stranger (I heard the most horrible stories so at least less anxiety attacks for me).
So now I'm preparing myself to go back to work. It'll be different because I need to juggle my family and my career. I'll need to keep in mind that sacrifices have to be made. I'll be a super working mom.
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| Postpartum Mymy |
Anyway, this blog post hopes to help young mothers (like me) out there who seem troubled in making the right decision. Before you decide on anything, consider the following factors:
Emotionally, how will you feel about being away from your
baby? (You might not know until you do it and that's okay.) How
comfortable are you with the idea of someone else caring for her? How
important is it to keep your career on track? Can you live without the
unique fulfillment that a career brings, or is it too important a part
of who you are? How will you feel about missing any of the major
milestones in your baby's life — first words, first steps?
Logistically, if you do choose to go back to work, will you
put your little one in daycare or hire a nanny? Is there a relative who
can tend her? Or is your partner willing (and able) to take over the
reins? How many hours are you willing to work? Even if you're not headed
back right away, it's a good idea to think now about what type of
arrangement would work best for you. If you can't come up with a
scenario that will allow you to comfortably leave the home, your choice
might be not to.
Financially, staying at home (even part-time) isn't an option
for many mothers; they simply must work. To find out if you can afford
to quit or reduce your hours, make a budget. List how much you require
for fixed expenses — mortgage or rent, insurance, loan payments,
utilities, food, etc. — and how much you need for extras like dinners
out. Now determine how much money you absolutely must have to be
modestly comfortable (with a cushion for emergencies). Consider whether
the money you'll make will offset the costs of earning it (gas,
clothing, childcare, lunches — and time away from your baby). Are there
options to cut your time away from home — like working part time, or
full or part time from home, or job sharing?
Once you've decided, don't feel guilty about it because it will only cause anxiety and depression on your part. I know it's hard to leave your bundle of joy (trust me, that's what I am dealing with now). Just keep in mind why you're doing this.
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| I'm going back to work to give him a better future :) |
Let me share this article that I got from the website of
Mayo Clinic. I found this very helpful and I'll stick to it if possible:
Maternity leave: Tips for returning to work
Maternity leave passes quickly. Find out what you can
do to ease your transition back to work — and how to stay connected to
your baby.
By Mayo Clinic staff
Are you dreading the day your maternity leave ends? Don't despair.
Working mothers face many challenges, but with careful planning you can
make your transition back to work a smooth one.
Before you return to work
While you're still on maternity leave, set yourself up for a successful return to work:
- Let go of the guilt. Returning to work after
maternity leave can pose emotional conflicts for new mothers. Working
outside the home doesn't make you a bad mother — and it's OK to look
forward to the challenges and interactions of your job. Remind yourself
that you're doing what's best for you and your family.
- Find dependable child care. Consider local child
care providers and facilities or make other arrangements for child care,
perhaps before the baby is born. Look for a safe, stimulating
environment and qualified caregivers. Ask your baby's doctor, friends,
neighbors and co-workers for recommendations. Trust your instincts when
interviewing potential caregivers. Also check caregivers' references.
- Talk to your employer. Clarify your job duties and
schedule so you'll know what's expected of you after your maternity
leave. You might ask about flexible hours, telecommuting or working part
time.
- Prepare to continue breast-feeding. If you're
breast-feeding and plan to continue doing so after returning to work,
tell your employer that you'll need to take breaks throughout the day to
pump. Ask about a clean, private room with an outlet for breast
pumping. Consider buying or renting an electric pump that allows you to
pump both breasts at once. About two weeks before returning to work,
adjust your nursing schedule at home so you're pumping two or three
times during the day and nursing before and after your upcoming work
hours. Have someone else feed your baby a bottle of stored breast milk
to help your baby adapt. If you happen to have on-site or nearby child
care, consider the logistics of breast-feeding your baby during the
workday.
- Set a return-to-work date. If you can, go back to work late in the week. That will make your first week back to work a short one.
Once you're back at work
When you go back to work, expect ups and downs as you become more adept at managing multiple demands. These tips can help:
- Get organized. Make a daily to-do list. You might
divide the list into tasks for work and tasks for home, or tasks for you
and tasks for your partner. Identify what you need to do, what can wait
— and what you can skip entirely.
- Provide continuity of care. Develop a good
relationship with your baby's caregiver. Spend time talking to him or
her when you drop off or pick up your baby. Share family stresses — both
good and bad — that might affect your baby. Before you take your baby
home, ask about any important events that occurred in your absence, such
as a change in bowel movements or eating patterns or a new way of
playing. Take time to periodically discuss your baby's progress and any
problems or concerns.
- Stay connected. Consider a daily phone call or text
message to your baby's caregiver to find out how your baby's doing.
Place a favorite photo of your baby on your desk or in your work area.
Set aside time after work to reconnect with your baby.
- Make backup plans. Know what you'll do if your baby
is sick or your baby's caregiver is unavailable on a workday — such as
taking the day off yourself, asking your partner to take the day off, or
calling a friend or loved one to care for your baby.
- Honor your commitment to breast-feeding. Bring your
breast pump, containers for expressed milk, an insulated bag and ice
packs to work. Keep a stash of breast pads and extra blouses handy, in
case your breasts leak. If finding time to pump is a concern, consider
alternatives — pumping during your breaks or working from home to make
up for the lost hours, for example. If you can't express milk at work,
breast-feed your baby or pump just before you go to work and as soon as
you return home. You could also pump between feedings on your days off
for extra breast milk to be used while you're working.
- Seek support. Don't try to do everything yourself.
Accept help from your partner, loved ones, friends and co-workers. Speak
up if you're feeling guilty, sad or overwhelmed. If you're having
trouble pumping milk at work or nursing your baby at home, contact a
lactation consultant from a local hospital or clinic.
- Nurture your own well-being. Relax in the tub after
you put the baby to bed, or unwind with a favorite book or soft music.
Cut down on unnecessary commitments. Pick a reasonable bedtime, and
stick with it. On your days off, sleep when your baby sleeps.
Above all, maintain a positive attitude. Tell your baby how excited you
are to see him or her at the end of the day. Your baby might not
understand your words, but he or she will pick up on your emotions.
Let's cross our fingers, working mommies! We can do this!
